Guess this may not be the blog for someone who is looking to energize their life with happiness and no worries. I really did think it might be when I first started writing it. It just hasn't quite evolved into that though. Although, I have decided though to start seeing a therapist again. I like to talk to people who seem intelligent and have a good second opinion on my thoughts and feelings. --Not just seeing the doctor for the meds. I mean he is nice and all but I am in his office for about 3 minutes, just long enough for him to write me 3 months worth of prescriptions. I could be a total bull sh**er and I don't think he would ever know. I could say I am experiencing panic attacks and palpitations and he would probably give me more Xanax, but I'm too honest for that. Not to say anything about him in a mean way, but come on...I think I could dispense meds to people at this point in my game, ya know. Maybe that means I should see a different doctor too? But it is so easy to just go in say things are the same and walk out with a prescription that makes me feel comfortable enough. Maybe that is one of my problems, too....I feel comfortable "enough". Who knows. If I ever get something figured out other than the fact that I have mental illness, and it is a lifelong struggle, I'll let you know and let you in on the secret. THAT I can promise! I have felt quite rebellious about my OCD and anxiety lately. It can just be such a pain to deal with! And even when I am not dealing with it, I'm dealing with it.... Oh well. Such is life....
I hear you. I like my doctor as a person, he is funny and all but I wonder sometimes if he went into psychiatry with the realization that he would basically write prescriptions to people all day long. I think some of this is insurance-related. I know that he is allotted 15 minutes for a "medication check". Most of the time he will go over that, sometimes we will talk for 45 minutes and I always feel terrible because somebody is out in the waiting room wondering what the heck? I just don't have a huge choice of doctors in my rural area so I have a doctor who knows less than I do about OCD. I can feel your frustration at having OCD..have been there and still have days where it hits me hard. My thoughts are with you.
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