360°

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and things, well they are overwhelming me. I am going to become paranoid I think. I only say this as I am feeling like I did after having my second child and having postpartum. Except, I am not postpartum.   It is a heavy feeling. It is scary and I feel alone. Yes, you, you all are out there, some feeling the same way, but it is lonely none the less. I pray that things turn around for the better and the doctor tomorrow can some how bring me some peace of mind.  Even though I feel bad for praying as I don't seem to thank him enough and ask for things in time of need.  I'm sure the doctor will give me a pill... I almost feel as it will be a placebo for life.  Comfort in a pill.  Is it really comfort? Does it matter?  I was joking earlier today and now I just am yuck.  I wish I had a xanax right now. As much as I don't know if I like taking them, I like taking them when I feel this way.  Having a drink instead.  Yes, I know it is not the best solution, but it helps, for now.  Sorry to be so incredibly down, and depressing. :(