Sunday, August 26, 2012

Complacency

I think I have become good at just "being". That line of complacency that feels so good and comforting sometimes. No challenges, no excuses having to be made, no real feelings having to be felt...just "being."  I know some wish for a place like that.  Even I get to where I wish for a place like that, but when it sets it, it can be... unsettling. I seem to be either UP or down.  HIGH or low.  But then, once in a while I get settled in. Complacency...  comforting, but not.  Feeling, but not. Accepting... allowing, lulling into a sleep of the mind. But nothing productive happens. It's almost a trap. It's almost being alive.  It's almost being nothing at all.

If only I understood the many faucets of my mind...

2 comments:

  1. I understand how you feel. Sometimes we long to be able to just 'be', for me at least it's when I feel I'm in survival mode. I long for being in a frame of mind where I am a zombie when it comes to emotions just to survive at times, then I'm there and hate the numbness.

    It is like a trap, you're very right.

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  2. I've been in this place lately, too. It's a very weird thing. Best of luck to you in getting to stable but GOOD place. I think we can do it.

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