Hum? Why does this keep playing and playing through my mind? Why is it not natural to love to move? It is for me. I honestly LOVE it. You can remake yourself, you can start anew, and who doesn't like a fresh start? I am sure what she meant by all of it was that people don't like to move because they have to uproot their relationships with people. They feel the pain of moving because they don't have certain people around them anymore. I know that is probably how it is for many of you, but...not so much for me. I have no one important to hold onto, so it is easy to go. But lately I have been thinking about the "big picture" of life. Where is mine going to take me and with whom? My family, my husband and children are with me now. But what about after the kids are gone? It will be me and my husband. Will I drive him absolutely nuts? He makes friends easily and has them when we move and keeps in contact with some. I don't. Maybe I do this to protect myself from hurt? Maybe I do it because it seems like so much work trying to differentiate between what is the right amount of time to spend with a friend or not. She also told me that for most people, relationships come naturally. But to me...they don't.
I don't know where this post is leading me. I guess I am just exploring the thoughts of making roots and developing relationships with people, and why I don't. Maybe because growing up I always felt like the third wheel in a friendship of 3. Or maybe I just don't want to have pain when I move. I don't want to have the pain of saying goodbye to people. Yet at the same time I feel connected to the "place." I don't know. I feel like I am sounding like a bad self help book all the sudden. But, I wish I did know...and even though I might not always want to admit it, I wish I had a friend sometimes. I guess you just get use to being alone. And then you start to feel safe there and then it becomes uncomfortable to move in any other direction. So....any suggestions?