So,I am about to go out of town for a few days. And I thought I would write a post about what goes through my mind when I am about to travel and be in other peoples homes and spaces. I like to go places, but it can also bring me anxiety. This can come on while packing, on the way there, and while I am there.
Packing, well lets just say that it is a mini nightmare for me. What the heck are we doing and what should I wear so I look like I belong in the proper activity. Lord, I tend to pack WAY more than I need because I could change my mind about the appropriateness of an outfit at any given time. I need to be able to change clothing if and when this occurs. So I spend days thinking about what I should pack. I may go and pick something up from the store if I feel I don't have something "right" for the situation. I put out different outfits on the bed. My thoughts get jumbled on what I might feel like wearing, so I pack double to be sure. And then I still worry it won't be enough or won't be good enough. So for a 4 day trip I probably pack enough for 8 days. Uh!
On the way there. We are travelling on the interstate. Lots of cars, lots of stops at strange places, lots of anxiety. I have to force myself to not to think about the numerous opportunities for accidents while driving. What if's, can get out of control if I am not careful. Then the stops at odd bathrooms and restaurants. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. If you have any amount of contamination OCD, need I say more??? It can be challenging to say the least.
Then I am there. Out of my house, out of my control...well that is how it feels. This is a tricky thing for me. I am someone who hoards privacy for themselves and likes their own bathroom and own space. I am not one of those get up and go naturally girls. I need to put on my make up and do my hair and "get ready". Then I go to McDonalds for my morning coffee. Yes, I do this every morning. It's how I've always done it. Well. maybe not the coffee part, but the rest. So if I am at someone else's house this can be anxiety ridden for me as I feel like I need to hurry up. I feel like I should offer to everyone, coffee? But they usually say no, or they make it themselves. Which I don't do, so then I feel like I look nuts.
Anyways, I am concerned the whole time about doing and saying the right things. And making myself seem likeable....and making sure my family is not getting annoyed with me because I might not be social enough. Or I may appear ungrateful to the hosts when in actuality I am anxious.
So...there it is. And the person I am going to see this week will probably read this which makes me nervous. But I just think I should share it to get it out of my head. Is there anything you do to make yourself better when travelling? Or am I the only one who goes through this??