If something annoys me or makes me feel bad, I remove it from my life. This can be good and it can also be not so good? Maybe?
It is funny how I have a great ability to worry about things and reminisce about things for ever but I have also a great ability to ignore things and block things I no longer want to deal with. I don't know if this is always good, but it is a coping mechanism. It is something that I do.
I grew up with people, the church, telling me what to do all the time. I was a follower. I am a natural introvert and I think this sometimes lends to me being quiet and taking things in, deeply. So I don't always speak my mind. I like to think this is partly because I am really trying to teach myself that everyone's own experiences have brought them to the place they are at in their own lives and those experiences have formed their opinions on everything. I mean, that is just a fact of life. So if something hurts me, physically or emotionally I remove it.
My avoidance is a wall I build to protect myself from hurt. I do not want to feel hurt. I hurt enough in my own life, in my own mind. I do not want to add any additional, unnecessary hurts. Also, I do not want to hurt others, as this is a fear I have in physical and emotional relationships. I am sure this extends from the fact that I was abused, and that my OCD thoughts about hurting others is a very, very scary and deeply horrible thing for me to deal with. So this has made me into the great avoider I have become.
So is this good? Is this something necessary for me to live my life to the best of my ability? I am still trying to figure that one out.