That's how I feel right now.
My son's good friend, who is a girl, only 17, has bone cancer. She has had her entire hip bone removed and replaced. She has been "cured" and relapsed several times in her short life. Her mother and brother both died of cancer. She is in the ER tonight. She doesn't want to live with cancer anymore. She doesn't want to live. I feel so overwhelmed with hurt for her. I feel selfish for ever entertaining a thought of the same. She has every reason in the world to feel that way. What ever was my reason? I wish I could take away her cancer and her pain. I hate her cancer for her. Why? It just isn't fair. Why? It makes me feel like an idiot for ever hurting. I am sad.