Wednesday, September 12, 2012

So... Opinions Please!

So...I can get away with telling you whatever I want as you just read this blog and honestly wouldn't know if any of it was true or not. But...I'm too dang honest!  This past week I was stressing so horribly and I am no longer on Xanax, so I had a drink....3 nights.  Why do I feel so bad?  I guess because I know I could easily have a problem with it if I let myself. It just felt so good to not feel and not think for a bit. I can rationalize it by saying it was just one drink on 3 different nights, but is that a good enough excuse?  I just think it may be worrying when I think "I'd love to have a drink tonight." and then that is all I am thinking about all day.  I have never called myself an alcoholic, but I know I could be easily addicted and I know it is not a good thing to wish to be drinking and to drink alone...Uh.  My husband knows, he was with me. He does not drink, alcoholism runs in his family.  But I know he wouldn't like it if I suddenly had to have a happy hour every night and if it became something I couldn't live without. SO....I'm back to not drinking again.  Maybe if I had a friend to have a glass with it would seem less crazy.  I don't know what people consider normal when it comes to alcohol.  But is it worse to have a drink a couple nights a week or take Xanax everyday?  Uh....

Opinions Please!!


  1. OK, you asked for opinions, so here's mine.

    I have tried to survive my MI without meds for the majority of the time I have been diagnosed. It hasn't always been easy, but I'm not gonna lie to you - the comfort of knowing that I can reward myself with a drink at the end of the day has helped me survive some pretty bad days.

    I know self medicating is frowned upon, and it can become a big issue. What I also know is that it has worked for me. Luckily I have enough sense(most of the time)to know that I can't make a habit out of it, and I did it as I found other coping mechanisms. If your husband maybe can monitor your use, while you find other options or while your Dr. adjusts your meds, maybe that might help.

    I personally would rather have the drink a couple of nights a week than take Xanax daily. I've taken Xanax daily, not good. Some benzo's have been used to treat alcohol withdrawl, maybe it would work the other way around.


    *I'm not an expert in any way, shape, or form, these are all personal opinions.

  2. I think that when you write that you know you could be easily addicted, it raises a red flag. I have 2 brothers that self-medicated with alcohol and in both cases it did not end well. I know plenty of people who unwind with a glass of wine at the end of the day but it just concerns me that you could easily have a problem with it. I would check in with my doctor..there is a new medication out now (my friend just got on it) that is an SSRI which has a component that is supposed to be specifically for people with anxiety. My friend said it helped her immensely and she feels like a different person. Maybe the doctor would recommend that or a different med with less addictive properties. Hope you feel better,.

  3. My opinion: if you are worried about it, and you know you could become addicted easily, that is a concern. Self-medicating with alcohol is different from taking a prescription medication under the care of a doctor. I would talk with my doctor about the anxiety and what the best ways to deal with it are.

    I'm so sorry you're having this bad time with anxiety, and I hope you feel better soon!

  4. I agree that if you are concerned about it, that concern is a red flag. The very best thing to do (in my little 'ole opinion) is to talk to your psychiatrist and be honest with him or her about what you are feeling and doing, and why. If you have a psychologist, I also recommend you discuss this with him or her as well. That fact that you are feeling so anxious that you need relief means (to me, anyway) that your anxiety treatment needs to be tweaked. (Maybe more ERP, or working with cognitive distortions, or distress tolerance, etc.) I mean, I still feel anxiety, even after my treatment, but for the most part, I have the tools to work through it and the constant desperate feeling I used to have all the time is mostly gone.

    I'm sorry you're feeling so crummy. Hang in there. With the right treatment, it CAN get better.