Tuesday, September 25, 2012


I was expecting someone different in my mind, from who my therapist turned out to be. But...It wasn't a bad thing.  "Why are you here?" ---Uh, well....where do you want me to start?  It is hard to try and encompass your entire life's struggles into a 45 min 1st session.  After I left I was thinking of a million things I forgot to say. But all in all, I would say it went ok.  I was told I am too hard on myself...yeah, I knew that.  But she gave me some things to think about and focus on.  So we'll see...

On a side subject she talked about how humans are naturally social beings. And how friends can play such important roles in our lives.  I, of course, talked about not having any "friends" and how it seems so complicated to me. Like when do you call?  Do you have to call everyday? Do you have to see them all the time?  I mean things that for others seem to be intuition, to me are not so easily manifested.  I like my privacy. I like to be alone.  I do miss having people to call or talk to on occasion, but, you know, I am used to it.  I guess the point is for me to get out of my comfort zone....but...I don't know. We'll see.        

I also realized how I am SO like my mother.  In SO many ways, that are just funny and weird. And at the same time SO not like her...or my dad.  But I guess we all take on some attributes of the people we grew up around. And I realized some of those things I might have criticized her for are some of the same things I do myself. Uh!  Don't you hate it when that happens!!

I don't know. I am going to continue seeing her at least twice a month.  She also runs an anxiety group she said I might be interested in but, we'll see.  It was nice to talk to someone though, who had no judgement. Just ideas and recommendations.♥


  1. I'm glad the visit with the therapist went well. I know what you mean about trying to say everything in a 45 minute session. The time goes by so fast for me!

    I like to be alone, too, and am not a natural socializer. But I know it's necessary sometimes.

  2. Yeah, it is amazing how like my parents I can be, yet different, too.

    I have found support groups for mental illness to be helpful over all. Not every visit is helpful, but it might be an easier opportunity for you to socialize with people who understand the anxiety and decision issues that go into communicating with another person. I've appreciated meeting people and getting and giving support in an environment where mental illness is "normal" and I don't have to pretend to have it all together.

  3. I had that the first few times i started seeing a therapist. I worried about omg, what if I dont get everything important out! What if I just seem silly for being stressed, what if im judged. But i do look back at it and its nice to not have any preconceived judgements, like its nice not knowing them. You can just let the crap inside that hurts out and go home. Its refreshing :)

  4. I am so happy you went to therapy! I wish you luck on the journey. Therapy is truly life changing, the most important thing is that you must be honest.