Sunday, May 6, 2012

Private Craziness?

So, speaking about being confused...I awake this morning with the news on CNN, and the topic is how any and everything you put on the web should be greatly considered.  How employers may look you up and judge you based on your social networking posts. How we could put our health insurance at risk for disclosing certain aliments, or proving otherwise about ones we have claimed to have. How people can steal our identities with our name and birthdays, etc (not that everyone hasn't realized that already)... Which got me thinking, what am I doing here?  I am blatantly putting out there that I am mentally ill.  I have problems... my insurer knows, my family knows. But how will this affect me down the line?  Would I be denied a job?  I mean other than me telling you, and you "knowing" me, you probably would not realize I suffer these ailments.  When I have worked in the past, I have done my job, and rather well. I just don't hang out with people after work, and make friends with them outside of the job. I just fall apart at 

I mean, don't we all put on these"masks" in front of most people. Don't we all have "the work Shannon" and "the home Shannon" and "the mom Shannon" and on and on.  Which makes me wonder about split personalities. I guess that would be defined another way, but don't we all kind of have different persona's that go with our different "Shannon's"?  Putting myself out there on the web is actually easier for me that putting me out there in the real world. You don't know me, you have no preconceived notions about me. You can't talk about me to someone else behind my back. If you leave me, it won't really matter.  I mean right now as far as I know I am writing an online journal to myself. I'm talking to me!

I guess you just have to take some sort of risks in life. Which is hilarious for me to conclude when I hate taking risks in so many areas!  But maybe this will be my legacy. A journal passed down from generation to generation in my family, letting them know they got the "crazies" from me. -And just so we all know, I know it is considered politically incorrect to call myself or others crazy, but it doesn't bother me. At least I can be called something. I like it better than mentally ill, disturbed, plagued, or wacko. And if my privacy on the matter is shot now, I might as well shoot for the moon. If you know what I mean.

Anyway, life isn't really ever private and I am just putting out to the universe what it already knows.

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