This is a question that has been on my mind lately. I think it is something I have struggled with my whole life. Dreams, things that come true in your own mind, but may be entirely unreachable? Dreams, things that you desire to come true and you do your best to make come true and then they do? Dreams, things you think about coming true but never do because you don't work hard enough or do the right things to make happen?
See, I sound negative even talking about dreaming which to most is an ideal, pleasurable activity. To me is just brings on more questions and anxiety. I guess I have long associated dreams with goals. And to be honest I haven't had a ton of goals in my life. Why? Hum. I was never taught how to have goals? No one ever asked "What do you want out of life? And how do you plan to achieve it?" -That sounds like and may be, that I am blaming others. Maybe the blame should all be on me. But how do you reach a goal? You plan, you take steps to achieve, you dream? It's kind of hard to reach out for something that you have no idea of how to reach in the first place. Something that seems all together unattainable.. Isn't it?
As much as I talk about being tired lately, I do WANT to be positive. I do WANT to be happy. I do WANT to be full of energy! But maybe I just thought these things should happen. Maybe I thought you should have nice things and have a nice life and a nice outlook without having to work at it? Are you laughing at me? Do I sound completely insane? But this is how my mind has worked all my life. Is changing it just a dream?
What do you dream about? And how do you reach out to make it come true?
I can totally relate. I have always had trouble with my dreams, it's like OCD invades them. Then I walk around petrified that they actually may come true! And, in some circumstance they do, in both positive and negative ways. The negative ways reinforce my OCD. The positive ways, let me focus on the fact, that dreams really do come true. Good or bad. So, I just try to keep my dreams positive, and hope that when they come negative, they aren't the ones that come true. But it's so hard, when the negative ones do.
ReplyDeleteThanks! Good to know I am not alone!
DeleteI think very few of my dreams have come true without some work on my part. Even winning the lottery takes buying a ticket. I am always wishing I could win but never go to actually buy one. You definitely are not along in your thinking Shannon. I also think OCD can act as a dream buster. I have fallen into the pit of not even attempting things because I let OCD hold me back.
ReplyDeleteMy big dream in walk the AT. I want to do the whole trail from Georgia to Maine but may not be able to do it in one season as it would take 5-6 months. So I am going to do it in legs, maybe 500 plus miles at a time over 4 years. I am starting to walk 8-10 miles per day now daily and loading up my backpack till I can do 15 miles per day with 35 pounds on my back.
I meant you are not alone, not along...I hate when I dont proof.
ReplyDeleteThat's so great Krystal! I should remember that I can't reach for something I am unwilling to work for. I would love to do the AT! One of my favorite places in the world is the Smokey Mountains! Went there every summer with my family growing up!
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