Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Rethink?
Rethinking my last post, maybe...what the heck? We are all trying to find "happiness" aren't we? Maybe I just say I am not because it is easier. Maybe I like living with the illnesses I have because they are my company. They are who I am. They define me, in a way. They are my soul mates. What would I do without them? Live a worry free life of crazy abandon? That would definitely be a strange pill for me to swallow. -But I have done the "right" things, I have gone to a therapist, I have taken medication. I talk about it to you...to a lot of people I meet. So what else? Where does that leave me? If I were going to "recover" wouldn't that have been already? I thought writing this blog would make things clear to me and really it is making me question everything. But the fact is as much as these things don't bother me, they sometimes do. Was that was the whole point of therapy and meds? Is acceptance what I have gained? Weird. I am more confused than ever. And you probably are too!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Shannon, you sound like my thoughts. I don't really know what it means to "recover," though I sometimes use the word. I really should use the word "improve." I've done or am in the process of doing all the "right" things, too, and sometimes it doesn't look like it's doing any good. But I know I'm better than I used to be. Maybe that's a key word--better.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we feel comfortable with our disorders, but I think everyone feels comfortable to a certain extent with their burdens because they are familiar. If we didn't have OCD and depression, there would be other burdens to carry. So I don't think anyone has a 100 percent worry-free life all the time.
You are so great Tina! About the first person I have known who thinks like I do. It is a comfort! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteShannon, you make a lot of sense, actually. For instance, does an alcoholic ever fully "recover".. not according to anyone I've ever talked to. I like Tina's idea of improving. Even more so, I like the thought of constantly moving forward with positive goals vs remaining stagnant and doing nothing or being repetetive in our actions.
ReplyDelete